Loneliness is a scar that cannot be seen. People won’t be able to identify lonely people so easily. They smile, laugh, attend social engagements, do their duties – work, conduct their lives smoothly; but still happen to suffer through the mental trauma of loneliness. To understand it better, we firstly need to know that it is not an external event but an internal feeling. This has got nothing to do with being alone or single . A person could be married, in relationship or clustered with friends but still can feel the pain and hurt of loneliness.
There is a huge difference in being alone and being lonely. We often misunderstand the both. Being alone is a state of being. In this state, you are aware of the fact that most of your time is spend entertaining yourself, but you don’t mind. You are at happy and peaceful with your own company and know how to utilize this time well. For many people this turns out to be the most productive time. Innovation generally happens in this zone . A beautiful place to be in is this .
And considering the contrast, feeling lonely is a state of mind. This state, unfortunately, doesn’t feel great at all . It literally bogs people down. You feel a void in your life that you can’t seem to fill. You are longing for something to happen or someone to be there. Many a times it is companionship, togetherness or good times that’s being missed. When things don’t go that way , the mind suffers a lot. Loneliness makes you feel unhappy all the time or even depressed to great extents. Many times being alone and feeling lonely overlap, but it usually doesn’t stay like that. We can clearly do a demarcation between the two.
Identify loneliness by these parameters:
1. Feeling tired all the time
You may have slept for more than 9 hours, done nothing tedious and you may have no right reason to be tired but still the tiredness creeps in. The more lonely you are, the more tired you feel.
2. Illness is a routine
Loneliness cuts your immunity system and makes you prone to falling ill and catching diseases easily . Constantly some or the other health issue keeps you down.
3. Irritation
Things that you can easily bear with, suddenly make you anxious and restless. Dramatic reactions and un uncontrollable emotions are a part of the loneliness zone. Irritation is on a high all the time.
4. Online addiction
When you feel lonely you spend a lot of time on social media because thats the only place you get human interaction. The only problem is that it does not solve the problem but increases it .
5. Weight Gain
Loneliness is moat of the times compensated with food. Lonely nights on a couch with chocolates or constant junk consumption. Comfort food gives temporary relaxation thus lonely people access this zone. Loneliness also decreases your motivational levels for any action including working out. This is a weight gain arrangement totally.
Tips to Overcome Loneliness :
1. Speak to friends
Don’t avoid friends and people who try to connect with you. It is important to have human interaction in life . Staying away from people and being anti social does not solve anything. Make an effort to meet people who you are comfortable with. Learn to own your story . Don’t be embarrassed of what you are going through. At times it is not required to speak about anything, but just being a part of a conversation can help.
2. Cut social media
When you are low or not feeling fine, you tend to spend more time on social media. That affects very inversely. It’s better to go on a Social Media detox . Constant comparison, postings and fake data is not recommended at all in loneliness. Getting close to reality helps more than being in an artificial bubble.
3. Enjoy Your Own Company
Don’t keep waiting for someone else to bring joy to your life . Do activities that make you happy . Make plans with yourself. Have conversations with yourself . Practice spirituality for peace. Spend time being positive with things you like doing. Do what you have been waiting to do. Some people don’t know what they like, in such case they must try different things . Eventually they will like some activity more than the other .
4. Work on your purpose
We are all born for a purpose . Routine cannot be the purpose . Find out what gives you satisfaction and be a part of the bigger universal reasoning . While you have relations not working out and things not going your way, you can make few things happen that can add value to your life. Design your life in a way that you can be more useful.
5. Get out of the Comfort space
Don’t keep sitting on the side of your bed that makes you cozy. Don’t stick to the couch thats your native space. Get up and move. Join a n active curriculum. A dance or a fitness regime will serve you perfect.
6. Count your blessings
Think about all the positive things in your life. Remember all the people who make a great difference in your life. Be observant about the best you have received.
7. Be of help
When you are in pain, help others. It helps you resolve your own entanglements. Understand, we all are going through something or the other. So Be the person , you expected to exist in your tough times. The tremendous happiness you feel after helping people is unexplainable.
8. Take help whenever required
At any point you feel helpless, restless or lost, take help from a professional. There is nothing wrong to go to a psychologist or a therapist if you are not able to handle your emotions. Don’t linger in sadness. Change the course of your thoughts and the direction of your life.
There is no reason why you must suffer; There is no reason why you must be alienated from happiness; be your best and Say Bye Bye to Loneliness!
I AM WHAT I FEEL 