Nobody wants to have a difficult life and nobody hopes for calamities. To be honest, no one wants to be in a situation where they see their children in trouble. But there is no no need to feel bad. We all as parents have our own different challenges. Once you become a parent you already are on a roller coaster. And autism is like many other hiccups that parents have to face. The best part is that we have a lot of information available and many resources to deal with it in times now. Here are few things you could use handy for a better life if you are an Autism parent.
Get off the Search Engines
Google can sometimes make you hit the roof . It can scare you to glory. Seriously, stop playing “Doctor Doctor” on internet. Don’t look up for cures or medicines on google. Professional help is the best help. Holistic treatment under the guidance of trained professionals is the best. Search on internet will make you wander aimlessly.
Take Breaks & Deep Breaths
You are on a journey which might just seem endless. Taking breaks is not a crime. Don’t forget to tell yourself that you are a human being. Fall flat on the couch and watch some Netflix . Hit the gym if that makes you calm. Read if that gives you peace. Do what relaxes you. Sitting in therapy waiting rooms will be tasking but use it rightly. Read some magazines. Its ok if some days don’t seem useful or feel wasted . Entertain yourself. That’s important. Take deep breaths and fuel yourself .
Smile Away The Tsunami of Advice
You will have to be prepared to listen to advices you never asked for . Don’t react. Its good to be calm and composed within yourself. Selective listening is the key. Change the topic if it gets too bothersome.
Some things wont work . Accept it!
Not everything you are told to do or you read somewhere will work in your case . You will try things that sometimes wont work. That amazing suggestion you just read on internet or in a chat didn’t go well with your kid , this could happen. And you see some benefiting from the idea. Stop worrying . It’s a lucky draw in autism. Every child with autism is unique and will have different patterns . No set precedent work here. Some therapies and meds could be useless for one and useful for other. Mark your own path.
Open your Heart & Mind to new things
Its about trial and error. You really don’t know what your child will respond to. Give it an honest try to every thing in order to figure out if it’s a hit or a miss. This could be dancing, singing , painting, craft or things you might have ridiculed in your life. Open yourself to different activities.
Gifts for your Child
When friends relatives ask you what your child wants for their birthdays, Diwali or festivals, don’t hesitate to ask for cash , therapy or some activity that you are looking forward to as gifts. Your loved ones care about you and your child. They’ll be happy to know what they bought is actually getting used, not sitting around in some corner collecting dust. So be that honest parent. Even if you receive gifts that are of no use right away, wait for a year and see , your child might use it. If need be you can donate it to other children later.
Seniors can be like North Star
Some parents are in the zone longer than you, so recognize what they do works for them. You can definitely get some tips from them. Don’t be the ” I know Everything” parent. Listen to other people’s stories to enhance and improve yours. It is good to connect with people who will understand you and your situation better. Support groups can be of great help. Autism can make parents feel very isolated. Sometimes it is hard to get out and talk. You could chat with the ones who share your kind of life. Trust me, Autism parents are always ready to help each other and are available at any time to chat and comfort you. Its a strong community that can really be your back bone when required.
Let your child explore the world
Don’t restrict or confine your child to your home. They need exposure, not over protection. Take them for small trips. Talk to them about travelling . In this way you will teach them coping skills. Take them along with you to banks, grocery store etc. Not everywhere at a time . Slowly train them to go to places with you. Tell them what you are doing and where you are going. Let them get scared initially, they will adjust with time. Prepare them to be with you while you do small chores.
Be Yourself, Emote and Bounce Back
You can feel bad, cry and be irritated . Its your right. Give yourself this privilege sometimes . But bounce back once done as you cant forget that you still have a kid that needs you. So don’t dwell in it too long. If you find yourself doing it too far too frequently, know when to take help. Be it from your partner, relatives, family member, friend or a psychologist. Take charge of your emotional life.
By just reading this your life won’t change but you will surely get a guideline to set your system. This is your life now. This is your new normal. We can’t say that it will get easier. You will just get better at dealing with it. Help yourself through humor, prayer, meditation, yoga, blogging or a hundreds of other activities. Let’s fix this up in the brain , As hard as you are working, so is your child. So now and then, relax and just chill out on something that you enjoy ! Happy Parenting !
I AM WHAT I FEEL 
It is a superb observation and very valuable guidance to every parents. Superb work.
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